Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize