how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
