covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
