also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize