dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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