So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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