I CAN MOONWALK!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
