Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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