I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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