is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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