dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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