There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
