i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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