Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
