It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
