Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
