8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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