you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
