Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
