Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
