What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
