Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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