That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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