Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
