there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
