:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
