Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize