The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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