just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
