1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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