where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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