We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
