I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize