so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
