I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
