Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
