Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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