Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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