More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
