they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
