Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
