Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize