unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
