Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
