eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
