It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
