She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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