he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Holy sore nipples Batman
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
