dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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