Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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