? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
