I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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