google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
