You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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