If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
