I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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