So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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