Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
