Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
