8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You made out with two different species that night
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
