Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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