When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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