if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
