i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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