Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize